This epidemic is like taking a sedative
Millions are dying, have died, repetitive
We are the cynics, the blowhards, the critics
Ignoring the carnage until we're the victims
We wait, count backwards, 100 to one
Till the drug takes effect, then sleep will come
Dreams aren't for everyone, not if you're poor
Or black, or young, or your country's at war
The nations of Africa fighting for life
Just like our neighbors next door
While we lie awake at night
Bribing sleep for one hour more
That's what intentions are for
Never you mind all the killing and dying
Never you mind all the orphaned kids crying
Never you mind the people you meet
Getting thinner and older and weaker each week
Just sweep it under the rug and pretend
It's not really happening, it will all end
We can't know the cost and we can't comprehend
So we take a pill, no time to spend
For once in our lives we should take a stand
For once, be humble and lend a hand
Don't say, "I can't, it's too much to do."
What if the crisis mattered to you?
11/23/08
Don't Preach
You believe u r to blame
You, and u alone, r 2 blame
U hold it in, all ur pain
U don't confess, u don't explain
All those reasons validating ur brain
Cannot reason with the shame
That's put upon u by the men
Cuz it'll never have to be them
And the women who say they care
But they don't know, cuz they weren't there
It's only u, and u alone
Who took the test, and dialed the phone
Who cursed protection she thought was safe
For an act she thought was her escape
Now that she knows, it's far too late
Now she's scheduled a different date
She can't be something she knows she's not
The lonely woman time forgot
The girl who had it all, and lost
Renegade seedling before the frost
She takes a stand for her future self
Refuses to put her dreams on a dusty shelf
No time for relief, emotions drain
She'll always feel society's shame.
You, and u alone, r 2 blame
U hold it in, all ur pain
U don't confess, u don't explain
All those reasons validating ur brain
Cannot reason with the shame
That's put upon u by the men
Cuz it'll never have to be them
And the women who say they care
But they don't know, cuz they weren't there
It's only u, and u alone
Who took the test, and dialed the phone
Who cursed protection she thought was safe
For an act she thought was her escape
Now that she knows, it's far too late
Now she's scheduled a different date
She can't be something she knows she's not
The lonely woman time forgot
The girl who had it all, and lost
Renegade seedling before the frost
She takes a stand for her future self
Refuses to put her dreams on a dusty shelf
No time for relief, emotions drain
She'll always feel society's shame.
11/20/08
Lettered
Some things just can't be said
But the words still tumble round and round in my head
And as they're spinning, they break apart
And the broken-up words fall down to my heart
And since I got no words left to tell it
I guess I'll just take the letters and spell it.
Y R U
still on my mind?
I've tried to push your words back so they're hard to find
But O M G
it's plain to C
They're not very well hidden, and still doin damage to me
So L O L
I keep making jokes
To push the pain aside from those words we spoke
To the laughter, that bondage is who I M
And I'll B O K in the interim
Y M I
still kicking myself
for something I swore I put up on the shelf?
Y is it so hard 2 let go
I M feeling very small even tho
I M A phenomenal girl
I still let U give me A whirl
But Y? When I think back, U R not the best
And that's what I learned
from this spelling test.
32 letters that I wrote 2 U
Cuz the words don't say as much as they do.
But the words still tumble round and round in my head
And as they're spinning, they break apart
And the broken-up words fall down to my heart
And since I got no words left to tell it
I guess I'll just take the letters and spell it.
Y R U
still on my mind?
I've tried to push your words back so they're hard to find
But O M G
it's plain to C
They're not very well hidden, and still doin damage to me
So L O L
I keep making jokes
To push the pain aside from those words we spoke
To the laughter, that bondage is who I M
And I'll B O K in the interim
Y M I
still kicking myself
for something I swore I put up on the shelf?
Y is it so hard 2 let go
I M feeling very small even tho
I M A phenomenal girl
I still let U give me A whirl
But Y? When I think back, U R not the best
And that's what I learned
from this spelling test.
32 letters that I wrote 2 U
Cuz the words don't say as much as they do.
11/16/08
B What U Can't B
Sometimes you're the eyes and ears, when u can't hear or see
Sometimes u gotta shout louder, when u can't breathe
Sometimes u gotta be things u think u can't be
Just so u can stand up and declare urself free
It's funny that the people we love will tell us no
Ridicule our dreams, telling us to stop, we'll never go
Just so u know, those same people can strengthen the flow
Those are the same people saying I'll never make it
Just settle down, they say, and be complacent
But adjacent to those voices is a voice all my own
Saying, "Amz, u own the whole world, baby you're grown,"
Take them all with grains of salt, they piss and moan
Cause they look forward to Percaset and methadone
A dead-end job, and babies at home
Gossip all day long on the goddamn phone
And I feel so alone
Cuz once I was told that's all there is for me
Thank my stars I'm trying to live past that infinity
Cuz what I see is a new life
And I can see it from here, standing underneath the street light
Nobody thought little old me would ever get the beat right
But everyone can see how
I've come into my own now
Forget about the old crowd
I'm standing on my own now
I don't need haters no how
I'm giving em a beat down
And then I'll come to your town
And show you how it goes down
Cuz nothing or nobody is keeping me from being
You can take away my eyes, it won't keep me from seeing
You can stop my heart, it won't keep it from beating
So never mind what they say
Cuz while they fail, I'm achieving.
Sometimes u gotta shout louder, when u can't breathe
Sometimes u gotta be things u think u can't be
Just so u can stand up and declare urself free
It's funny that the people we love will tell us no
Ridicule our dreams, telling us to stop, we'll never go
Just so u know, those same people can strengthen the flow
Those are the same people saying I'll never make it
Just settle down, they say, and be complacent
But adjacent to those voices is a voice all my own
Saying, "Amz, u own the whole world, baby you're grown,"
Take them all with grains of salt, they piss and moan
Cause they look forward to Percaset and methadone
A dead-end job, and babies at home
Gossip all day long on the goddamn phone
And I feel so alone
Cuz once I was told that's all there is for me
Thank my stars I'm trying to live past that infinity
Cuz what I see is a new life
And I can see it from here, standing underneath the street light
Nobody thought little old me would ever get the beat right
But everyone can see how
I've come into my own now
Forget about the old crowd
I'm standing on my own now
I don't need haters no how
I'm giving em a beat down
And then I'll come to your town
And show you how it goes down
Cuz nothing or nobody is keeping me from being
You can take away my eyes, it won't keep me from seeing
You can stop my heart, it won't keep it from beating
So never mind what they say
Cuz while they fail, I'm achieving.
11/15/08
When You're Down
When you're down to your very last dime, it's a sign of the times
When you can't pay your bills on time, it's a sign of the times
When you're standing in the back of the bread line, it's a sign of the times
When you're pretending the men on TV will make everything fine,
it's a sign of the times
The Times is telling you the truth, you dismiss it as lies
They're trying, from old through the youth, and you criticize
The people admitting they don't know are really the wise
The ones standing on the street corners have stars in their eyes
It's hard to have faith when faith has become so vindictive
If you want to believe something, it better not be contradicted
One god, one religion, one brain, hate the rest, so predictive
It's bigotry, not the army, into which we're conscripted
To think for yourself is a freedom no longer allowed
"Freedom is not free," is the inanity some have espoused
They're right, we're having to fight our own ways through the crowd
Just to regain the freedoms our own Constitution endowed.
I remember how my ancestors came to this nation
As poor foreigners, those who would give the U.S. an ovation
For letting them try their luck here, so try contemplation
Before you decry the evils of mass immigration
We're not given hope, we're not given pain
Those are the things we can lose or gain
The darkness we feel will begin to wane
When we realize the cycles are always the same
Who can say whether this life is all we have left?
But before you utter life's last breath
Be sure to make time for your own happiness
Be sure to make time for all the rest.
When you're down, you're not down. Open your mind.
Dig a hole through the ground and continue to shine.
When you can't pay your bills on time, it's a sign of the times
When you're standing in the back of the bread line, it's a sign of the times
When you're pretending the men on TV will make everything fine,
it's a sign of the times
The Times is telling you the truth, you dismiss it as lies
They're trying, from old through the youth, and you criticize
The people admitting they don't know are really the wise
The ones standing on the street corners have stars in their eyes
It's hard to have faith when faith has become so vindictive
If you want to believe something, it better not be contradicted
One god, one religion, one brain, hate the rest, so predictive
It's bigotry, not the army, into which we're conscripted
To think for yourself is a freedom no longer allowed
"Freedom is not free," is the inanity some have espoused
They're right, we're having to fight our own ways through the crowd
Just to regain the freedoms our own Constitution endowed.
I remember how my ancestors came to this nation
As poor foreigners, those who would give the U.S. an ovation
For letting them try their luck here, so try contemplation
Before you decry the evils of mass immigration
We're not given hope, we're not given pain
Those are the things we can lose or gain
The darkness we feel will begin to wane
When we realize the cycles are always the same
Who can say whether this life is all we have left?
But before you utter life's last breath
Be sure to make time for your own happiness
Be sure to make time for all the rest.
When you're down, you're not down. Open your mind.
Dig a hole through the ground and continue to shine.
11/9/08
Woman's Worth
They've always been trying to limit her
But from the days of World War 2 and Rosie the Riveter
To the day when a woman could be President
We have shown that a woman's worth can be well spent.
They may try always to keep her down
But from the days when Lucy showed that women can clown
To the day Tina Fey's the hottest act around
We have shown serious women do not always frown.
They may always tell a woman "no."
But from the women raising babies on Cheerios
To the women running companies as CEOs
We need to show em what a woman's worth. Make em know.
But tell em, though, we aren't like you
Don't treat us like one of the guys, or call us "dude."
We've paid our dues, after all these years, it's true
But we are still not getting compensated the same as you.
78 cents to the dollar, girls are guaranteed from birth
78 cents to the dollar, for living and working the same earth
Looking at our history, that disparity hurts
I guess 78 cents to the dollar is just a woman's worth.
But from the days of World War 2 and Rosie the Riveter
To the day when a woman could be President
We have shown that a woman's worth can be well spent.
They may try always to keep her down
But from the days when Lucy showed that women can clown
To the day Tina Fey's the hottest act around
We have shown serious women do not always frown.
They may always tell a woman "no."
But from the women raising babies on Cheerios
To the women running companies as CEOs
We need to show em what a woman's worth. Make em know.
But tell em, though, we aren't like you
Don't treat us like one of the guys, or call us "dude."
We've paid our dues, after all these years, it's true
But we are still not getting compensated the same as you.
78 cents to the dollar, girls are guaranteed from birth
78 cents to the dollar, for living and working the same earth
Looking at our history, that disparity hurts
I guess 78 cents to the dollar is just a woman's worth.
9/15/08
$$$$$$
It never bothered me to hear about Wall Street decline
Talk of mergers, foreclosures
You'd think it was all over
But just cuz you're down to your very last dime
And that money machine's slower
No need for the four-leaf clover
Cuz having money doesn't mean it's mine
You heard me, having money doesn't mean it's yours
It's like air, you breathe it in and then it goes out the door
Can't save it, or find it underneath the floor boards
Take it when you need it, but remember it's not yours to keep
So don't weep, and don't lose any more sleep
Over these paper chains that try to bind
The minute you assert that paper is mine
They say health is one letter away from wealth,
so let's move along those lines.
Have is one letter away from hate
Material needs two letters to become immaterial
I don't mean this poem to sound spiritual
But if a camel can't pass through the eye of a needle
Then it's clear I don't need bondage in your paper chains
This money in, money out got us all insane
But if breathing in, breathing out don't much bother our brains
Then don't worry bout money, I'll say it again
It's very clear I don't need bondage in your paper chains
This money in, money out got us all insane
But breathing in, breathing out don't much bother my brain
So don't worry bout money
Set it all aflame
Some people dream of money falling down from the sky
Thanking their lucky stars, but you need to ask why
Why is it we're all slaves to the rye?
The government gave us money so that freedom
wouldn't open our eyes
It's only when you're not beaten by the dough that you rise.
It's not the size of the wallet that counts
It's the sense of justice, energy and freedom in large amounts
Get that fist out your purse and throw it in the air
Curse the societal urges that put it there
And ask those people making money without a care
Why their shackles so tight they can't bear
It's very clear I don't need bondage in your paper chains
This money in, money out got us all insane
But breathing in, breathing out don't much bother my brain
So don't worry bout money, I'll say it again
It's very clear I don't need bondage in your paper chains
This money in, money out got us all insane
But breathing in, breathing out don't much bother my brain
So don't worry bout money
Set it all aflame
I'm very aware burning money is a federal crime
And inciting riots with my words could get me some prison time
If you decide to report me, and they haul me to jail
I'll gladly pay bail
Just to continue to wail
These creditors sound so highfalutin
They turn problems into debt solutions
But these excuses are useless
Ignoring the real problems of society
Just for fame, wealth and notoriety
I want variety
Gimme fresh air, grass, a path to walk
Tomatoes fresh off the vine, corn off the stalk
It's all talk, they say, that old adage
Oh really? Tell me how our ancestors managed
They didn't have dead presidents always staring in their face
Making em think they got the most, so they won the race
What a disgrace we've become
Pathetic human race under the sun
Quick as we're rich, then we think we've won
And if we're poor, we're done
But I've come too far to believe the fun stops
Once the last dollar bill drops
So I say, put your money in the fire
The resulting blissful feelings will take you higher
Watch them dollars burn and pop
Oops, here come the cops.
Talk of mergers, foreclosures
You'd think it was all over
But just cuz you're down to your very last dime
And that money machine's slower
No need for the four-leaf clover
Cuz having money doesn't mean it's mine
You heard me, having money doesn't mean it's yours
It's like air, you breathe it in and then it goes out the door
Can't save it, or find it underneath the floor boards
Take it when you need it, but remember it's not yours to keep
So don't weep, and don't lose any more sleep
Over these paper chains that try to bind
The minute you assert that paper is mine
They say health is one letter away from wealth,
so let's move along those lines.
Have is one letter away from hate
Material needs two letters to become immaterial
I don't mean this poem to sound spiritual
But if a camel can't pass through the eye of a needle
Then it's clear I don't need bondage in your paper chains
This money in, money out got us all insane
But if breathing in, breathing out don't much bother our brains
Then don't worry bout money, I'll say it again
It's very clear I don't need bondage in your paper chains
This money in, money out got us all insane
But breathing in, breathing out don't much bother my brain
So don't worry bout money
Set it all aflame
Some people dream of money falling down from the sky
Thanking their lucky stars, but you need to ask why
Why is it we're all slaves to the rye?
The government gave us money so that freedom
wouldn't open our eyes
It's only when you're not beaten by the dough that you rise.
It's not the size of the wallet that counts
It's the sense of justice, energy and freedom in large amounts
Get that fist out your purse and throw it in the air
Curse the societal urges that put it there
And ask those people making money without a care
Why their shackles so tight they can't bear
It's very clear I don't need bondage in your paper chains
This money in, money out got us all insane
But breathing in, breathing out don't much bother my brain
So don't worry bout money, I'll say it again
It's very clear I don't need bondage in your paper chains
This money in, money out got us all insane
But breathing in, breathing out don't much bother my brain
So don't worry bout money
Set it all aflame
I'm very aware burning money is a federal crime
And inciting riots with my words could get me some prison time
If you decide to report me, and they haul me to jail
I'll gladly pay bail
Just to continue to wail
These creditors sound so highfalutin
They turn problems into debt solutions
But these excuses are useless
Ignoring the real problems of society
Just for fame, wealth and notoriety
I want variety
Gimme fresh air, grass, a path to walk
Tomatoes fresh off the vine, corn off the stalk
It's all talk, they say, that old adage
Oh really? Tell me how our ancestors managed
They didn't have dead presidents always staring in their face
Making em think they got the most, so they won the race
What a disgrace we've become
Pathetic human race under the sun
Quick as we're rich, then we think we've won
And if we're poor, we're done
But I've come too far to believe the fun stops
Once the last dollar bill drops
So I say, put your money in the fire
The resulting blissful feelings will take you higher
Watch them dollars burn and pop
Oops, here come the cops.
9/9/08
Superficial Ppl
These superficial ppl look at me
And walk away like I got a communicable disease
They dismiss me very easily, an ability
Not lost on me walkin by
If they look me in the eye then they might see more
Past the messy mop of hair and my bare feet on the floor
Past the stickers on my car, and the beads on my door
There's other possibilities beyond trying to settle the score
The word hippie's just a label that's affixed
By the ones who think those unlike them should not exist
Even if you think you're different, they say just assimilate
If you stop loving yourself, then you start to learn to love to hate
Then you start to call us out, while we're walking down the street
Just because we nod our heads to an unfamiliar beat
What do they see? The person, the poet, the hair, the clothes...
I guess I'll never know.
And walk away like I got a communicable disease
They dismiss me very easily, an ability
Not lost on me walkin by
If they look me in the eye then they might see more
Past the messy mop of hair and my bare feet on the floor
Past the stickers on my car, and the beads on my door
There's other possibilities beyond trying to settle the score
The word hippie's just a label that's affixed
By the ones who think those unlike them should not exist
Even if you think you're different, they say just assimilate
If you stop loving yourself, then you start to learn to love to hate
Then you start to call us out, while we're walking down the street
Just because we nod our heads to an unfamiliar beat
What do they see? The person, the poet, the hair, the clothes...
I guess I'll never know.
9/8/08
The Golden Rule (written for UNI's Close-Up on Diversity)
The teachers always told us, when we were in school:
"Remember the Golden Rule."
Don't treat others cruel
In fact, treat em as good as u treat yourself
But once we're in the world, we see it put up on a shelf
There's some people who get no help
No consideration
In what's supposed to be the most diverse nation
Apparently, the prevalent Golden Rule line
is to only help out if your skin looks like mine
provided we don't cross the socioeconomic divide
and I don't have to get down off this high horse I'm astride
Here's what they should have taught us in the schools:
"Whoever has the gold, makes all the rules."
"Remember the Golden Rule."
Don't treat others cruel
In fact, treat em as good as u treat yourself
But once we're in the world, we see it put up on a shelf
There's some people who get no help
No consideration
In what's supposed to be the most diverse nation
Apparently, the prevalent Golden Rule line
is to only help out if your skin looks like mine
provided we don't cross the socioeconomic divide
and I don't have to get down off this high horse I'm astride
Here's what they should have taught us in the schools:
"Whoever has the gold, makes all the rules."
8/1/08
Slam!
With these words I belt
gonna make your face melt
It's a race to see who's got the best speech since Roosevelt
I make the first welt
leaving you bloodied and bruised up
Ain't my fault your words are used up
Uh oh, time's up, find out did you lose? yup
Next time, make sure you come with it and stand up
Next time memorize, and make your words matter
None of this nonsense, we've heard it all before, it's idle chatter
What you dish out is only as good as your batter
I said what you dish out is only as good as your batter
Maybe a little honey or sugar would be nice
But I season mine with a whole lotta spice
Bring it all to a boil, then put you on ice
But I'm a bad chef; cooking with words is my vice
And it's only paradise when you've got other poets around
Lifting your words up, while shouting you down
It's that perfect turn of phrase to which I'm bound
And I won't stop writing until it's found
So if you'll promise to bring your game
Promise to stop spitting the same, same, same
Then I'll promise to stop equating the word "lame"
With your name.
gonna make your face melt
It's a race to see who's got the best speech since Roosevelt
I make the first welt
leaving you bloodied and bruised up
Ain't my fault your words are used up
Uh oh, time's up, find out did you lose? yup
Next time, make sure you come with it and stand up
Next time memorize, and make your words matter
None of this nonsense, we've heard it all before, it's idle chatter
What you dish out is only as good as your batter
I said what you dish out is only as good as your batter
Maybe a little honey or sugar would be nice
But I season mine with a whole lotta spice
Bring it all to a boil, then put you on ice
But I'm a bad chef; cooking with words is my vice
And it's only paradise when you've got other poets around
Lifting your words up, while shouting you down
It's that perfect turn of phrase to which I'm bound
And I won't stop writing until it's found
So if you'll promise to bring your game
Promise to stop spitting the same, same, same
Then I'll promise to stop equating the word "lame"
With your name.
7/21/08
Scarlet A
This day is almost faded
And my body no longer invaded
This is the ultimate act to make me feel jaded
And a little bit frustrated by how it turned out
Like I just went all 10 rounds of the bout
Tryin to show I got the clout
My secret's not out, but I did get punched around
Without a doubt.
And I still can't figure out
How it managed to happen at the worst possible time
And due to my inexplicable climb
And having to spend my last damn dime
Some call it a crime, but I say
You don't know me or what I do day to day
And I'm glad it's my choice, cuz there's no other way
So I'll stay feeling simultaneous uncertainty and relief
But missing are the sadness and grief.
You say your god punishes me?
Those aren't my beliefs.
It's time to stop acting like we've been victimized
Time to stop blaming the media for making us desensitized
Time to quit blaming the government just cuz we believe the lies
While we chomp down on our Happy Meal fries
Time to stand up, get on with our lives
The greatest prize lies when we take responsibility
And our eyes see past infinity
Do that, and it feels like divinity
Or at least like the real woman in me
Don't succumb to another's view
If your instinct tells u it's something u shouldn't do
Cuz you're the only one u have to be true to
Do that, and the sky looks a clear blue
No more looking always in the rearview
Cuz the woman in u knows her own values.
If u know what I'm saying, keep it to yourself
This chapter is closed and up on the shelf.
And my body no longer invaded
This is the ultimate act to make me feel jaded
And a little bit frustrated by how it turned out
Like I just went all 10 rounds of the bout
Tryin to show I got the clout
My secret's not out, but I did get punched around
Without a doubt.
And I still can't figure out
How it managed to happen at the worst possible time
And due to my inexplicable climb
And having to spend my last damn dime
Some call it a crime, but I say
You don't know me or what I do day to day
And I'm glad it's my choice, cuz there's no other way
So I'll stay feeling simultaneous uncertainty and relief
But missing are the sadness and grief.
You say your god punishes me?
Those aren't my beliefs.
It's time to stop acting like we've been victimized
Time to stop blaming the media for making us desensitized
Time to quit blaming the government just cuz we believe the lies
While we chomp down on our Happy Meal fries
Time to stand up, get on with our lives
The greatest prize lies when we take responsibility
And our eyes see past infinity
Do that, and it feels like divinity
Or at least like the real woman in me
Don't succumb to another's view
If your instinct tells u it's something u shouldn't do
Cuz you're the only one u have to be true to
Do that, and the sky looks a clear blue
No more looking always in the rearview
Cuz the woman in u knows her own values.
If u know what I'm saying, keep it to yourself
This chapter is closed and up on the shelf.
7/8/08
Streams of Consciousness
All emotions are pain
The sunshine just as bad as the rain
Trying always for happiness makes u insane
I guess I'll meditate.
People be frustrating me cause they don't see
How they're humiliating their own identities
Trying to be like what they see on MTV
Or BET, all that un-reality
Or they believe the hype
Putting themselves in the shoes of a fictionalized stereotype
But what's that like, living someone else's version of life?
It's you, but not quite.
Sometimes I lie awake at night,
Thinking how I could put the past right
If I only had 20/20 hindsight
It's cause secretly, I'm a people pleaser
A joker, a lover, a friend, a teaser
Always turning skeptics where once were believers
And sometimes I don't follow my own advice, either.
But neither should I get lost in the semantics
Don't give me a fever from witnessing your crazy antics.
If you're tryin to hate, you're only wasting your time
You spend precious minutes to berate somebody, drawing the line
Well don't cry to me, those minutes are mine
And I prefer spending them not hearing u whine
So why don't u take all that anger and go
Better yet, why not stay and just let your anger go
It's only when we let it all go that we begin to grow.
You know, I think I'm speaking too slow
This propensity for violence has got us all desensitized
We watch a rape on TV, a woman getting victimized
Does it open our eyes to abuse, or are we not even surprised?
We show it all to our youth, and we don't even realize
When they grow up, it's all lies, videotape and sex
They get to age 14 and know what to expect
Except to respect that sex is not about being kept
And for some unlucky few, it remains the best way to a slow death.
But for others, it's the best thing since sliced bread
And, still others, ambivalent, or he said, she said
I don't tell u all this to confuse you in the head
Instead, to ponder if being alive is the same thing
as being dead....
The sunshine just as bad as the rain
Trying always for happiness makes u insane
I guess I'll meditate.
People be frustrating me cause they don't see
How they're humiliating their own identities
Trying to be like what they see on MTV
Or BET, all that un-reality
Or they believe the hype
Putting themselves in the shoes of a fictionalized stereotype
But what's that like, living someone else's version of life?
It's you, but not quite.
Sometimes I lie awake at night,
Thinking how I could put the past right
If I only had 20/20 hindsight
It's cause secretly, I'm a people pleaser
A joker, a lover, a friend, a teaser
Always turning skeptics where once were believers
And sometimes I don't follow my own advice, either.
But neither should I get lost in the semantics
Don't give me a fever from witnessing your crazy antics.
If you're tryin to hate, you're only wasting your time
You spend precious minutes to berate somebody, drawing the line
Well don't cry to me, those minutes are mine
And I prefer spending them not hearing u whine
So why don't u take all that anger and go
Better yet, why not stay and just let your anger go
It's only when we let it all go that we begin to grow.
You know, I think I'm speaking too slow
This propensity for violence has got us all desensitized
We watch a rape on TV, a woman getting victimized
Does it open our eyes to abuse, or are we not even surprised?
We show it all to our youth, and we don't even realize
When they grow up, it's all lies, videotape and sex
They get to age 14 and know what to expect
Except to respect that sex is not about being kept
And for some unlucky few, it remains the best way to a slow death.
But for others, it's the best thing since sliced bread
And, still others, ambivalent, or he said, she said
I don't tell u all this to confuse you in the head
Instead, to ponder if being alive is the same thing
as being dead....
5/1/08
If This Was My Last Piece
If this was my last piece, if this was the very last piece
I'd say it all till I'm resting in peace
or until they take away my freedom of speech:
I think the government's deaf
Like landmines in a Dangerfield,
you get no respect,
If we had the best president he'd be Wyclef
And it's curious to think I said it all in one breath...
Excuse me while I write between the treble and the bass clef
The audience waits with bated breath
But there's no happy ending left
Feels more like an intermission
But there's silence cause the government's listening
So read between the lines to see what's missing
If you're a Patriot today, you're Actin up
It's only if you're corporate that you're Built Ford Tough
Take someone else's library card to check out your stuff
It's all too much and we need a change
Much more of the status quo and I'll be deranged
Take your Hummer SUV and switch outta my lane
They call me a hippie cuz I'm way too hip
Call me sassy and sarcastic cuz I give em lip
What if this was my last piece?
Then I'd get lit
And tell em all precisely where they could stick it
Just playin, but really, I'm all too serious
We self-medicate till we're all delirious
When really, we should open our eyes and get furious
They're doin us like we don't even matter
Shoulders so cold it makes your teeth ch-ch-ch-ch-chatter
We're falling on lean times, but we keep getting fatter
"That's America," we say in mock laughter
You call this a country?
Everyone ignoring everyone like we think they're worth
We're all taught to settle the score from the day of our birth
What if this was my last piece ever on earth?
Hopefully I'd stick around to hear your retort
But don't give me no bullshit, cuz life's too short.
I'd say it all till I'm resting in peace
or until they take away my freedom of speech:
I think the government's deaf
Like landmines in a Dangerfield,
you get no respect,
If we had the best president he'd be Wyclef
And it's curious to think I said it all in one breath...
Excuse me while I write between the treble and the bass clef
The audience waits with bated breath
But there's no happy ending left
Feels more like an intermission
But there's silence cause the government's listening
So read between the lines to see what's missing
If you're a Patriot today, you're Actin up
It's only if you're corporate that you're Built Ford Tough
Take someone else's library card to check out your stuff
It's all too much and we need a change
Much more of the status quo and I'll be deranged
Take your Hummer SUV and switch outta my lane
They call me a hippie cuz I'm way too hip
Call me sassy and sarcastic cuz I give em lip
What if this was my last piece?
Then I'd get lit
And tell em all precisely where they could stick it
Just playin, but really, I'm all too serious
We self-medicate till we're all delirious
When really, we should open our eyes and get furious
They're doin us like we don't even matter
Shoulders so cold it makes your teeth ch-ch-ch-ch-chatter
We're falling on lean times, but we keep getting fatter
"That's America," we say in mock laughter
You call this a country?
Everyone ignoring everyone like we think they're worth
We're all taught to settle the score from the day of our birth
What if this was my last piece ever on earth?
Hopefully I'd stick around to hear your retort
But don't give me no bullshit, cuz life's too short.
4/16/08
Both Sides
I walk the halls, wanting the sadness
Willing my despondence to linger
My fingers trace the painted drywall
And stop, of all things, on the mirror
My eyes refocus on this hollow shell of a woman
I am disheveled, I am alone.
What is it about this life that makes you decide?
Mere ambiguity has no place, only time
The face in the mirror is indeed mine
But the voice she uses, a mask
And her lone task is to make it through one more day
Without her mask slipping, giving herself away
She can trace the creases that the mask has made
Battle scars from the wounds she'll never let fade
Because to do so would require exposure
And she's already spent years as an unwilling soldier
Her mother told her don't let nothing or nobody make
you get older
Cause it's soon enough that your ashes get colder
So why do I let the mask put lines on my face?
To perpetuate the lie that life is nothing but great?
What a sad state of affairs
Closed doors, no one's there
Locked up, no one's aware
Now my spirit has fallen into disrepair
Too scared to admit the truth to anyone
They say we're living in a new millenium
So what am I running from?
I'm fleeing from the goddamn mirror
Afraid what I'll see if it looked a bit clearer.
Willing my despondence to linger
My fingers trace the painted drywall
And stop, of all things, on the mirror
My eyes refocus on this hollow shell of a woman
I am disheveled, I am alone.
What is it about this life that makes you decide?
Mere ambiguity has no place, only time
The face in the mirror is indeed mine
But the voice she uses, a mask
And her lone task is to make it through one more day
Without her mask slipping, giving herself away
She can trace the creases that the mask has made
Battle scars from the wounds she'll never let fade
Because to do so would require exposure
And she's already spent years as an unwilling soldier
Her mother told her don't let nothing or nobody make
you get older
Cause it's soon enough that your ashes get colder
So why do I let the mask put lines on my face?
To perpetuate the lie that life is nothing but great?
What a sad state of affairs
Closed doors, no one's there
Locked up, no one's aware
Now my spirit has fallen into disrepair
Too scared to admit the truth to anyone
They say we're living in a new millenium
So what am I running from?
I'm fleeing from the goddamn mirror
Afraid what I'll see if it looked a bit clearer.
4/2/08
American Dream
I write to escape the pain
Though I'm supposed to be living in the game,
I'm drowning in it all the same
And since I got a good job that's payin
I feel ashamed
I'm supposed to be middle class, higher ranking
Instead, I'm fallin behind on my banking
Havin to get on a payment plan for any bill
higher than a Franklin.
The economy, they tell us, is tankin'
And while I sit here ranklin', another bill comes
due and another two are late
It's past the date for a national conversation on
class that doesn't involve hate
Your neighbors drive Cadillacs, but inside, they wait
For payday to come three days away
They say everything's OK, while the Visa bill stays
at nine thousand, ten thousand dollars
Never answer the phone, the bank's the caller
And your house is the last shred of hope you have that
links you to the fictionalized dream world they call
"middle class."
It ain't the haves and the have-nots
It's the "think they haves" and "don't gots"
Nobody's poor as long as we can still go to the store
and get a bit more so our kids' tummies
are not sore,
What are we kidding ourselves for?
So we smoke and we drink so we don't have to think
about how close we are to the brink
And we sink further, believe the conservative furor
that we could only make it if we pull ourselves up by the straps
of our boots.
That's uncouth, and they're playing us fast and loose
Here's the truth: our wages aren't enough
To get us through the month without having to sell some stuff
And my life isn't supposed to be that tough!
Put off paying for the air and heat comin out my vents
A dollar bill found on the street could be heaven sent.
Sometimes I can't take it.
Even Clark Kent had to be Superman just to make it.
Though I'm supposed to be living in the game,
I'm drowning in it all the same
And since I got a good job that's payin
I feel ashamed
I'm supposed to be middle class, higher ranking
Instead, I'm fallin behind on my banking
Havin to get on a payment plan for any bill
higher than a Franklin.
The economy, they tell us, is tankin'
And while I sit here ranklin', another bill comes
due and another two are late
It's past the date for a national conversation on
class that doesn't involve hate
Your neighbors drive Cadillacs, but inside, they wait
For payday to come three days away
They say everything's OK, while the Visa bill stays
at nine thousand, ten thousand dollars
Never answer the phone, the bank's the caller
And your house is the last shred of hope you have that
links you to the fictionalized dream world they call
"middle class."
It ain't the haves and the have-nots
It's the "think they haves" and "don't gots"
Nobody's poor as long as we can still go to the store
and get a bit more so our kids' tummies
are not sore,
What are we kidding ourselves for?
So we smoke and we drink so we don't have to think
about how close we are to the brink
And we sink further, believe the conservative furor
that we could only make it if we pull ourselves up by the straps
of our boots.
That's uncouth, and they're playing us fast and loose
Here's the truth: our wages aren't enough
To get us through the month without having to sell some stuff
And my life isn't supposed to be that tough!
Put off paying for the air and heat comin out my vents
A dollar bill found on the street could be heaven sent.
Sometimes I can't take it.
Even Clark Kent had to be Superman just to make it.
4/1/08
Too Hippie 4 U
I eat organically.
When I tell that to people, they look at me
Like a hippie, a yuppie,
a treehugger, a "green."
And all these labels are supposed to be mean
But I wear them proudly
And I'll say it loudly
I eat organically.
You go to Aldi so you can buy food for cheap
But remember that you are what you eat
So don't wonder why your kids are obese.
Buy em fruits and veggies every week
That are grown at a farm near you
Or at least without using much fuel
Or grown without getting sprayed by chemicals and pesticides
When you eat, they enter your body, cause your cells to die
It's not theoretical, these so-called incredible edibles
Are marketed and sold like it's all copacetical
But we should know better than to fall for these fakes
They're slicing up cows so fast they're getting
feces in the steaks
It's make it or break, the agribusiness gettin
fat off the false profits
The false prophets say, "eat up"
Their disgusting, cheaply-made stuff.
When I tell that to people, they look at me
Like a hippie, a yuppie,
a treehugger, a "green."
And all these labels are supposed to be mean
But I wear them proudly
And I'll say it loudly
I eat organically.
You go to Aldi so you can buy food for cheap
But remember that you are what you eat
So don't wonder why your kids are obese.
Buy em fruits and veggies every week
That are grown at a farm near you
Or at least without using much fuel
Or grown without getting sprayed by chemicals and pesticides
When you eat, they enter your body, cause your cells to die
It's not theoretical, these so-called incredible edibles
Are marketed and sold like it's all copacetical
But we should know better than to fall for these fakes
They're slicing up cows so fast they're getting
feces in the steaks
It's make it or break, the agribusiness gettin
fat off the false profits
The false prophets say, "eat up"
Their disgusting, cheaply-made stuff.
3/17/08
Once A Month
The t-shirt reads plainly, "I bleed black and gold."
Well, I bleed crimson once a month, but
you won't see me advertise it.
Yes, I just talked about my goddamn period,
not like you ever knew what that was like, so
unless you were a woman in a former life
I suggest you keep your lips tight.
OK, so maybe I do advertise it,
no shirt necessary,
And no shoes are needed either, but if required
they will measure once inch off the ground, and no higher
and always be comfort inspired.
If I have to drag my feet around in some
four-inch, plastic teeny-weenies like a
hooker looking to do something to your
four-inch, teeny-weenie wrapped in plastic,
I will not be pleased.
You want to take me out to a fancy dinner?
Fine. I'm wearing this.
No, I will not dig out that little black thing,
and it is a dress, not a skirt.
How do guys not get that?
They can figure out how to check the transmission
fluid in their car,
and occasionally figure out how to rev my engine
but they can't comprehend -- "if it starts at
the waist, it's a skirt" --?
These sweatpants do not have stains or holes
and if it makes you feel better, I'll put on a bra.
There. I'm ready.
What do you mean, you don't feel like going out?
And now you're just gonna sit there and pout?
Look dude, after you're done with the pity party
and you're all cried out,
I'm still gonna be hungry.
So why don't you go boil some water for a box of
macaroni and cheese?
By the time it's done, I bet you'll feel better
But I'm still gonna be like this awhile.
I'd yell at the tampons, but they don't make me smile.
And as far as punching bags go,
you know how to take the hits in style.
Well, I bleed crimson once a month, but
you won't see me advertise it.
Yes, I just talked about my goddamn period,
not like you ever knew what that was like, so
unless you were a woman in a former life
I suggest you keep your lips tight.
OK, so maybe I do advertise it,
no shirt necessary,
And no shoes are needed either, but if required
they will measure once inch off the ground, and no higher
and always be comfort inspired.
If I have to drag my feet around in some
four-inch, plastic teeny-weenies like a
hooker looking to do something to your
four-inch, teeny-weenie wrapped in plastic,
I will not be pleased.
You want to take me out to a fancy dinner?
Fine. I'm wearing this.
No, I will not dig out that little black thing,
and it is a dress, not a skirt.
How do guys not get that?
They can figure out how to check the transmission
fluid in their car,
and occasionally figure out how to rev my engine
but they can't comprehend -- "if it starts at
the waist, it's a skirt" --?
These sweatpants do not have stains or holes
and if it makes you feel better, I'll put on a bra.
There. I'm ready.
What do you mean, you don't feel like going out?
And now you're just gonna sit there and pout?
Look dude, after you're done with the pity party
and you're all cried out,
I'm still gonna be hungry.
So why don't you go boil some water for a box of
macaroni and cheese?
By the time it's done, I bet you'll feel better
But I'm still gonna be like this awhile.
I'd yell at the tampons, but they don't make me smile.
And as far as punching bags go,
you know how to take the hits in style.
He Got Nothing
I guess I caught u staring
Checkin out my body, and what I'm wearing
But I'm not no bar slut
And I won't be bearin
My breasts or my soul to you tonight.
I guess now you're confused, instead of stoked
Wondering why I won't just giggle at your
lame ass jokes
It's cause the only time I giggle
is after a smoke
Don't think either that all I cam for is your meat
Cuz I can get myself off any damn day of the week
So have a seat
And boy, listen to the beat
Cause the only reason you and I have cause to meet
Is so I can dance
Here's a new one for ya to learn: it's called
Santa's Reindeer in Reverse
I'm Vixen, you're a Prancer, then we're Dancer,
and I'm Dasher
I'll break it down better
I'm hot, you're not, trying to pop and lock,
and you're dropped.
Checkin out my body, and what I'm wearing
But I'm not no bar slut
And I won't be bearin
My breasts or my soul to you tonight.
I guess now you're confused, instead of stoked
Wondering why I won't just giggle at your
lame ass jokes
It's cause the only time I giggle
is after a smoke
Don't think either that all I cam for is your meat
Cuz I can get myself off any damn day of the week
So have a seat
And boy, listen to the beat
Cause the only reason you and I have cause to meet
Is so I can dance
Here's a new one for ya to learn: it's called
Santa's Reindeer in Reverse
I'm Vixen, you're a Prancer, then we're Dancer,
and I'm Dasher
I'll break it down better
I'm hot, you're not, trying to pop and lock,
and you're dropped.
2/18/08
Lather, Rinse, Repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Get punched in the face as I rise to my feet
Another near defeat
But this time, no maker to meet
Cause I won't assume the role of the weak
Not again.
On the strong woman scale, I am not a ten
But I will stand up if I fall down again
And you'll be stunned then, cuz u remember when
Not so long ago, I was at a disadvantage
Little, young and naive, at least from your vantage point
I was always gettin smoked like a rancid joint
If we were solving mysteries, I'd be scared shitless
and saying "Zoinks!"
But let me get back to the point:
That's not me anymore.
As I got older and smarter, I learned how to settle my own scores,
How to open my own doors
That would take me where I want to go, and keep
me on track
So get outta my van, I've got no more Scooby Snacks
What I do have is confidence to keep me intact.
And if you're thinking things must be out of whack
You thought I was still this, when really I'm that
I'll tell you I'm consistent like as a shampoo pack
And so Suave, in fact,
That "lather, rinse, repeat" is written on my back
Cuz I've scrubbed myself clean
of the anger and agression
Trained my mind to stay out of depression
Clear thinking plus knowledge becomes Pertinent
For confidence to become certain, you have to feel power
Pull back the curtain, it's time for another shower.
The Essence of me isn't Herbal, it's organic
I've gone back to my roots, remembered the soil,
forgot the panic
Never again will I blame the whole planet,
or cower and hide
Like Selsen Blue, I brush all you flakes aside
and remember true confidence can be found
even in disguise
That's why I always look you in the eye
As time flies, I will fall down one more time
than I rise
But don't be surprised when I refuse to be beat
Cuz my motto's like Suave: "Lather, rinse, repeat."
Get punched in the face as I rise to my feet
Another near defeat
But this time, no maker to meet
Cause I won't assume the role of the weak
Not again.
On the strong woman scale, I am not a ten
But I will stand up if I fall down again
And you'll be stunned then, cuz u remember when
Not so long ago, I was at a disadvantage
Little, young and naive, at least from your vantage point
I was always gettin smoked like a rancid joint
If we were solving mysteries, I'd be scared shitless
and saying "Zoinks!"
But let me get back to the point:
That's not me anymore.
As I got older and smarter, I learned how to settle my own scores,
How to open my own doors
That would take me where I want to go, and keep
me on track
So get outta my van, I've got no more Scooby Snacks
What I do have is confidence to keep me intact.
And if you're thinking things must be out of whack
You thought I was still this, when really I'm that
I'll tell you I'm consistent like as a shampoo pack
And so Suave, in fact,
That "lather, rinse, repeat" is written on my back
Cuz I've scrubbed myself clean
of the anger and agression
Trained my mind to stay out of depression
Clear thinking plus knowledge becomes Pertinent
For confidence to become certain, you have to feel power
Pull back the curtain, it's time for another shower.
The Essence of me isn't Herbal, it's organic
I've gone back to my roots, remembered the soil,
forgot the panic
Never again will I blame the whole planet,
or cower and hide
Like Selsen Blue, I brush all you flakes aside
and remember true confidence can be found
even in disguise
That's why I always look you in the eye
As time flies, I will fall down one more time
than I rise
But don't be surprised when I refuse to be beat
Cuz my motto's like Suave: "Lather, rinse, repeat."
1/11/08
Work
Nobody explains the difference
between achievement and persistence
to you when you're young.
Yet everyone's dumbfounded
when we grow up and are astounded
that our dreams don't just roll off the tongue.
We weren't taught to appreciate what we've got
Or if we did, we forgot
Do you know how much work it takes to
produce that diamond?
First they find it, then mine it
then ship it to the manufacturer
Who spends the time to coax the glitter out
of lumpy coal
And yet, all you do is go down to the store.
Do we even remember hard work?
Long days? Uncertain futures?
The only uncertainty now is what we'll spend our
next paycheck on
The realities of life are gone
Lost, to a past that never appealed to our
short-attention-span, Veruca-Salt generation.
And this gap isn't confined to just our nation
It envelops the concentration, or lack thereof,
on a scale of globalization
We're not perched on a precipice
We dove right in
And it's no longer a matter of whether you can
sink or swim
It's whether or not you can come out ahead
of her, or him
By any and all means necessary
Shove the others underwater, show no mercy,
no compassion
While you use them to float
Maybe it's a crime of passion
But the passionate have built a better boat
And they're working their way out of these
tributaries of selfishness and greed
Filled with those wanting so badly to achieve
That they've forgotten the best way to succeed
Is to let your hard work take the lead.
And they scream as those who built themselves a better way
Sail on to uncertain, yet hopeful, futures.
between achievement and persistence
to you when you're young.
Yet everyone's dumbfounded
when we grow up and are astounded
that our dreams don't just roll off the tongue.
We weren't taught to appreciate what we've got
Or if we did, we forgot
Do you know how much work it takes to
produce that diamond?
First they find it, then mine it
then ship it to the manufacturer
Who spends the time to coax the glitter out
of lumpy coal
And yet, all you do is go down to the store.
Do we even remember hard work?
Long days? Uncertain futures?
The only uncertainty now is what we'll spend our
next paycheck on
The realities of life are gone
Lost, to a past that never appealed to our
short-attention-span, Veruca-Salt generation.
And this gap isn't confined to just our nation
It envelops the concentration, or lack thereof,
on a scale of globalization
We're not perched on a precipice
We dove right in
And it's no longer a matter of whether you can
sink or swim
It's whether or not you can come out ahead
of her, or him
By any and all means necessary
Shove the others underwater, show no mercy,
no compassion
While you use them to float
Maybe it's a crime of passion
But the passionate have built a better boat
And they're working their way out of these
tributaries of selfishness and greed
Filled with those wanting so badly to achieve
That they've forgotten the best way to succeed
Is to let your hard work take the lead.
And they scream as those who built themselves a better way
Sail on to uncertain, yet hopeful, futures.
1/10/08
Mean Women Poets
You poor, disenfranchised men
Thinking you're gettin pushed around by
all these women
Thinking all this male hating, man bashing
shit is brand new
Well I got news for you
The women of old must have been new, too.
Thinking you're gettin pushed around by
all these women
Thinking all this male hating, man bashing
shit is brand new
Well I got news for you
The women of old must have been new, too.
1/9/08
MLK Day
The people say why.
Why is there an entire day to idolize
And I just roll my eyes
Because there's nothing wrong with an entire day to glamorize
A man much larger than his size
A man who never tried to victimize
Or tell his people lies
And still, they ask, why.
I'm not trying to sound contrived or
unscrupulous
But there's only a select few of us
who got their own holidays in the U.S.
And one of those was Columbus
and I don't see you making nearly as big of a fuss
Cause the post office is closed for the man
Who mistakenly stumbled upon this land
Then, over the centuries, caused it to crumble
As his people rumbled with the native people
Who couldn't even mumble a word in protest.
Yet Columbus has his own day of rest?
Then consider all the holidays we got
Commemorating the veterans and the
wars they fought
And the holidays commemorating generals like
Washington
So why exclude the one who led the march on
Washington?
Fighting a brutal, bloody and centuries-long war
While half the people didn't know what he was
fighting for
And was gunned down before knowing the score
One day off of school?
Martin Luther King, Jr., deserves all that,
and more.
Why is there an entire day to idolize
And I just roll my eyes
Because there's nothing wrong with an entire day to glamorize
A man much larger than his size
A man who never tried to victimize
Or tell his people lies
And still, they ask, why.
I'm not trying to sound contrived or
unscrupulous
But there's only a select few of us
who got their own holidays in the U.S.
And one of those was Columbus
and I don't see you making nearly as big of a fuss
Cause the post office is closed for the man
Who mistakenly stumbled upon this land
Then, over the centuries, caused it to crumble
As his people rumbled with the native people
Who couldn't even mumble a word in protest.
Yet Columbus has his own day of rest?
Then consider all the holidays we got
Commemorating the veterans and the
wars they fought
And the holidays commemorating generals like
Washington
So why exclude the one who led the march on
Washington?
Fighting a brutal, bloody and centuries-long war
While half the people didn't know what he was
fighting for
And was gunned down before knowing the score
One day off of school?
Martin Luther King, Jr., deserves all that,
and more.
1/1/08
There U Go Again
There u go again, giving me the puppy-dog eyes
There u go again, telling me u apologize
And there I go, believing your lies
Thinking this time, you'll try and be better
And whether or not you will has been answered time after
time after time: You won't.
So don't think by now I'm oblivious
Your tired old game is far from mysterious
You'll go to the bar, get drunk, drive home and try to
start some shit
But I hate to verbally spar with someone who's barely
aware of it
I'd rather u think out your points rationally, and
rational means sober
So move the fuck over, I'm tired of waiting for u to
get older
I've heard all your excuses, and you still need to
grow up
Tell me when you sober up that you'll quit.
I've heard that shit too many times
There u go again, biding your time
Until I start believing you've miraculously stopped on a dime
And my trust in you is restored
That's when I hear that key scraping the door
What will it be tonight? I think. Less, or more?
There I go again, thinking you've changed.
Thinking you're just being strange, instead of
exactly the same.
In the morning, you say, "I'm sorry. Don't cry."
There we go again, and I don't know why.
There u go again, telling me u apologize
And there I go, believing your lies
Thinking this time, you'll try and be better
And whether or not you will has been answered time after
time after time: You won't.
So don't think by now I'm oblivious
Your tired old game is far from mysterious
You'll go to the bar, get drunk, drive home and try to
start some shit
But I hate to verbally spar with someone who's barely
aware of it
I'd rather u think out your points rationally, and
rational means sober
So move the fuck over, I'm tired of waiting for u to
get older
I've heard all your excuses, and you still need to
grow up
Tell me when you sober up that you'll quit.
I've heard that shit too many times
There u go again, biding your time
Until I start believing you've miraculously stopped on a dime
And my trust in you is restored
That's when I hear that key scraping the door
What will it be tonight? I think. Less, or more?
There I go again, thinking you've changed.
Thinking you're just being strange, instead of
exactly the same.
In the morning, you say, "I'm sorry. Don't cry."
There we go again, and I don't know why.
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