This day is almost faded
And my body no longer invaded
This is the ultimate act to make me feel jaded
And a little bit frustrated by how it turned out
Like I just went all 10 rounds of the bout
Tryin to show I got the clout
My secret's not out, but I did get punched around
Without a doubt.
And I still can't figure out
How it managed to happen at the worst possible time
And due to my inexplicable climb
And having to spend my last damn dime
Some call it a crime, but I say
You don't know me or what I do day to day
And I'm glad it's my choice, cuz there's no other way
So I'll stay feeling simultaneous uncertainty and relief
But missing are the sadness and grief.
You say your god punishes me?
Those aren't my beliefs.
It's time to stop acting like we've been victimized
Time to stop blaming the media for making us desensitized
Time to quit blaming the government just cuz we believe the lies
While we chomp down on our Happy Meal fries
Time to stand up, get on with our lives
The greatest prize lies when we take responsibility
And our eyes see past infinity
Do that, and it feels like divinity
Or at least like the real woman in me
Don't succumb to another's view
If your instinct tells u it's something u shouldn't do
Cuz you're the only one u have to be true to
Do that, and the sky looks a clear blue
No more looking always in the rearview
Cuz the woman in u knows her own values.
If u know what I'm saying, keep it to yourself
This chapter is closed and up on the shelf.
7/21/08
7/8/08
Streams of Consciousness
All emotions are pain
The sunshine just as bad as the rain
Trying always for happiness makes u insane
I guess I'll meditate.
People be frustrating me cause they don't see
How they're humiliating their own identities
Trying to be like what they see on MTV
Or BET, all that un-reality
Or they believe the hype
Putting themselves in the shoes of a fictionalized stereotype
But what's that like, living someone else's version of life?
It's you, but not quite.
Sometimes I lie awake at night,
Thinking how I could put the past right
If I only had 20/20 hindsight
It's cause secretly, I'm a people pleaser
A joker, a lover, a friend, a teaser
Always turning skeptics where once were believers
And sometimes I don't follow my own advice, either.
But neither should I get lost in the semantics
Don't give me a fever from witnessing your crazy antics.
If you're tryin to hate, you're only wasting your time
You spend precious minutes to berate somebody, drawing the line
Well don't cry to me, those minutes are mine
And I prefer spending them not hearing u whine
So why don't u take all that anger and go
Better yet, why not stay and just let your anger go
It's only when we let it all go that we begin to grow.
You know, I think I'm speaking too slow
This propensity for violence has got us all desensitized
We watch a rape on TV, a woman getting victimized
Does it open our eyes to abuse, or are we not even surprised?
We show it all to our youth, and we don't even realize
When they grow up, it's all lies, videotape and sex
They get to age 14 and know what to expect
Except to respect that sex is not about being kept
And for some unlucky few, it remains the best way to a slow death.
But for others, it's the best thing since sliced bread
And, still others, ambivalent, or he said, she said
I don't tell u all this to confuse you in the head
Instead, to ponder if being alive is the same thing
as being dead....
The sunshine just as bad as the rain
Trying always for happiness makes u insane
I guess I'll meditate.
People be frustrating me cause they don't see
How they're humiliating their own identities
Trying to be like what they see on MTV
Or BET, all that un-reality
Or they believe the hype
Putting themselves in the shoes of a fictionalized stereotype
But what's that like, living someone else's version of life?
It's you, but not quite.
Sometimes I lie awake at night,
Thinking how I could put the past right
If I only had 20/20 hindsight
It's cause secretly, I'm a people pleaser
A joker, a lover, a friend, a teaser
Always turning skeptics where once were believers
And sometimes I don't follow my own advice, either.
But neither should I get lost in the semantics
Don't give me a fever from witnessing your crazy antics.
If you're tryin to hate, you're only wasting your time
You spend precious minutes to berate somebody, drawing the line
Well don't cry to me, those minutes are mine
And I prefer spending them not hearing u whine
So why don't u take all that anger and go
Better yet, why not stay and just let your anger go
It's only when we let it all go that we begin to grow.
You know, I think I'm speaking too slow
This propensity for violence has got us all desensitized
We watch a rape on TV, a woman getting victimized
Does it open our eyes to abuse, or are we not even surprised?
We show it all to our youth, and we don't even realize
When they grow up, it's all lies, videotape and sex
They get to age 14 and know what to expect
Except to respect that sex is not about being kept
And for some unlucky few, it remains the best way to a slow death.
But for others, it's the best thing since sliced bread
And, still others, ambivalent, or he said, she said
I don't tell u all this to confuse you in the head
Instead, to ponder if being alive is the same thing
as being dead....
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